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Judgement Time

On April 30, 2008, in Uncategorized, by Meghan
16

I feel like I’m about to die and stand before God for my judgment. I’ve talked with several friends recently about feeling like I have lived for years in a long, dark, graduate school tunnel with only a narrow pinprick of bright, white light ahead of me. Now that light is so-danged bright, blinding, and wide, and the end of the tunnel is just.right.there. I’m full-speed-freight-train headed for the light now, hoping that it’s not the bright white light of death and judgment, merely just the fluorescent lights of a university meeting room containing my advising committee. Am I all dramatic and angst-y about finishing graduate school, or what?

Touching back down into the world of reality, this really is a big deal for me. 3 1/2 years ago I started attending graduate school full time, while also continuing to work full time, with the grand idea of being able to do both well and finish a Master’s degree in two years. About a year into the whole thing, I came to my senses and stepped down to part time graduate school and full time work, a doable medium. Looking back, I would be hard-pressed to recommend myself doing it this way again. While I was dead-set on continuing to work so that I could simultaneously further my career and pay my way through graduate school, it has not necessarily been enjoyable/productive/happiness-inducing/stress-reducing to try and “do it all.” I seriously have no idea what I’m going to do with myself and all my free time starting next week, but I’m elated to find out.

The big, huge document is done, out of my hands, finished. The Power Point presentation is also finished, and I’ve been practicing. I’ve been scouring my textbooks for answers to all the potentially obscure questions I might be asked during the oral comprehensive exam. I’m ready to do this; really, I’ve had 3 1/2 years of preparation and I’m confident it will go well.

I know I sometimes ask for good luck/thoughts/energy from you all, but, if there’s ever a time that I really needed it, it’s at this moment. Please think of me on Friday morning, and thank you so much!

 

16 Responses to “Judgement Time”

  1. SteveQ says:

    I’ll be thinking of you. I was all but dissertation, which is the worst of all possible worlds.

    To answer your question, yeah, I’m the guy at Chippewa who never runs with a water bottle.

    Would you mind if I put a link on the Upper Midwest Trail Runners website to your Chippewa Race Report?

  2. Audrey says:

    oh meghan…you can stop studying now πŸ™‚ 3.5 years is definitely enough time to master the nuances of it all. (though i’m sure that won’t stop me from studying as much as possible to the last moment when i’m studying for the bar πŸ™‚ i am SO excited for you!!!

  3. Alison says:

    I’m confident it will go well too…but just in case you need it, good luck! Congratulations on getting as far as you have. I don’t know how you’ve done it all!!

  4. Beth says:

    I will be thinking of you lots Meghan!!! You will rock it no doubt and oh the joy when it’s all over!!! Congrats in advance of this HUGE accomplishment!

  5. jeff says:

    okay, okay, okay. so yeah, i’m sending prayers, well wishes and karmic vibes your way. but we ALL know that you’re going to rock this thing.

    meghan, you don’t half ass anything. you prepare. you’re diligent. you follow through. that is going to be evident to the advising committee and the results will be evident to you as you easily navigate their questions.

    go. kick. ass.

  6. Backofpack says:

    I’ll be thinking of you. I remember that final quarter – so, so stressful. Life will be so good next week. Go get ’em!

  7. Danni says:

    You are going to do great!!! And dress comfortable rather than worrying about being a tomboy πŸ˜‰

  8. JeffO says:

    Jeff said it – you don’t half-ass anything!
    This is really exciting. Know that I will definitely be thinking of you and sending you good vibes.

  9. Bec says:

    Meghan,
    I found your blog through SeaLegsGirl and have been enjoying it ever since.

    I just wanted to let you know that you’ll do great! I’ve been there and done that and now I’m trying to get my dissertation written. I understand steveq’s issue and I’m trying to avoid it myself! (fingers crossed and trying not to be doubtful – ugh)

    Just be yourself and feel confident in what you’ve done!

    Good luck!

  10. WynnMan says:

    I can remember my graduate dissertation kindly. You’ll do great. Do as I did, and that is to wow them with your wisdom,but more importantly, baffle them with bullshit.
    Then your thesis will go down into the bowel of a University archives where it will collect massive amounts of dust because only a lunatic would find any interest in reading such documents, at least mine anyway.

  11. A says:

    Sending positive energy your way! You are all prepared…now the hard part is just the waiting to get it done with. I’ve been there, too, and clearly remember the feeling! Ack! But, once you get in there, it will all flow beautifully and all the work you’ve done will be apparent.

    Just like a long trail run–after the starting gun sounds, you just trust your legs and they take care of you just fine over the course of the race mileage. Same thing tomorrow–your preparation and years of knowledge will carry you through beautifully! And next thing you know, you’ll be at that exhilarating moment when your committee is shaking your hands and congratulating you on a job well done, and you’ll be DONE! πŸ™‚

    GOOD LUCK tomorrow, I’ll be thinking of you! The big day is here at last! Whee! πŸ™‚

    anne

  12. The Salty One says:

    I have a feeling you’re going to do really well! Congrats on making it this far, just a little more to go and you’re finally free!

    PS Quit killing me with the baby animals πŸ™‚ Damn, they are cute!

  13. chelle says:

    Whoo hoo, the finish line is in sight. It’s probably like that jerk that tells you that you’re almost there at the end of a marathon (or a 50K!) when you still have a few painful miles to slog through, but….you’re almost there!

    You’ll have to educate us on all the gory details of your topic when it’s over with. Of course, you may never want to think about the topic again when it’s over with!

  14. olga says:

    Oh, Meghan, you don’t need no silly luck from anybody, but if it makes you feel more confident than you do already – sure, best of luck! I’ll be thinking of you Friday, I ahve nothing to do and you’ll be in my thoguhts, darling, so go knock them dead! Are you an ultrarunner or what??? Kick some tushy! And when you’re bored out of your mind next Monday – you can hire my kid to help you with wilderness:)

  15. Bob Gentile says:

    OK it’s FRIDAY MORNING and GOOOOOOD VIBES are being sent your WAY!!

    DO you FEEEEL THEM —- ???

    wait, sorry let me try again

    Now DO you FEEEEEEEL THEM — πŸ™‚

    YOU are SOOOOOO Ready, It’s a BIG Day…. Enjoy it!!

    and afterwards have a nice cold frosty beer!

    Cheers Meghan \_/ \_/

  16. Meghan says:

    Thank you all so much. It’s hard to fathom the positive outpouring of thoughts that you all gave me. I feel really grateful.

    Steve-You’re welcome to post a link, that’s fine. Thank you!

    Audrey-Oh I know you will cram for the bar! You’re so sweet, though!

    Alison-If I ever need motivation on doing a lot with a little time, it seems I should look to you. Thanks!

    Beth-There is so much joy right now that I can’t contain it! Thank you for your thoughts!

    Jeff-Ahh, I see you know me. Thank you for the karmic well wishes. They were felt and appreciated!

    Michelle-Thank you for your perspective!

    Danni-I dressed up and prettified myself. I should have taken a picture of this once-every-two-years occasion.

    Jeffo-Thanks for the vibes! I could feel the energy!

    Bec-Thanks for visiting and commenting! Good luck with writing your dissertation, such a big but surmountable challenge!

    Wynn-You’re right in so many ways that your comment is hilarious. Thanks!

    Anne-A priceless analogy, and that’s exactly how it went. Thank you so much!

    Salty-Thank you! Oh and just you wait till the little baby elk starting getting born!

    Chelle-Oh how you were like the almost done commenter at the 21 mile mark of the marathon! Just kidding and thank you so much!

    Olga-Thanks for your Friday thoughts, I could feel them!

    Bob- I felt it and I did drink beer afterwards! Thank you!

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