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Yeah, I Know

On May 2, 2010, in Racing, by Meghan
9

I’m not doing well in my attempts to blog about Marathon des Sables. I’m at this point so-danged tempted to just plain skip it and move on! However, it was such a life-altering experience that not documenting it would be more painful than the discomfort incited by trying to write about it.

Here’s the deal, in summary:
1. Writing about the Marathon des Sables and all the emotions it stirred is simultaneously cathartic and disturbing, and that’s a tough emotional cocktail.
2. I feel as if I came home from the race a changed person, kind of full steam ahead on a path that presented itself in the Sahara Desert. Since then, I’ve done little more than to pull the brake lever and bring the life train to a timid person’s stand still. Can you tell that I’m somewhat displeased with this demonstrated lack of courage?
3. I’m one of those folks who needs the right amount of time, physical, and head space to do a certain kind of writing, and I’ve had little of any one of those.

Yeah, I know, silly excuses, you say! That’s alright, you’re mostly right! Rest assured, a race report is coming sometime soon. Until then, please enjoy a wildflower photo.

Pretty Faces make faces at us all (Merced River Canyon, March, 2010).

9 Responses to “Yeah, I Know”

  1. Gretchen says:

    Wait, didn't you just tell me that you WEREN'T going to write about it? Change of heart? Yay! But I'm still expecting that long conversation. Anyway, whether you do or don't write about it is totally up to you. I know we'd all love to hear the story, but I hear ya on the tough emotional cocktail.

    I know you didn't ask for my advice, but I think you should really push yourself to do the writing. For myself, I've found that's often the best way to process an experience. (Especially when it's tough to write about!) However, everyone is different, and this is YOUR experience, no one else's. Good luck with the process, whichever way you go! 🙂

  2. JeffO says:

    Sometimes figuring out " what happened" takes time. Not to disuade you, but if a short synopsis now will help, then you can trickle some clearer details later.
    Of course, for me, I want the whole report NOW!!!
    Whatever else you decide about the experience, just remember… races are just excuses to LIVE! In that, you succeeded better than any of us.

  3. Ewa says:

    I am hoping you will write. Your experiences would be such a great lesson to some of us who don't even have enough courage to really challenge ourselves.
    BTW, wildflowers in CA are amazing this year. Nothing like good rains to bring all the colors out.

  4. sea legs girl says:

    Meghan, Just for the record, I don't think your excuses are silly at all. And that is what makes your reports so good: they are not just a nuts and bolts of what happened, but a whole wonderful, cathartic journey. Write about it when you want to and if you want to, and if you don't find time, I'll just be eternally mad at you. 😉 Okay, I am just kidding, of course.

  5. Sunshine Girl says:

    Here's the Deal Yo….
    I love the happy flowers!
    And write what you want, when you want. Yo.

  6. Helen says:

    Take your time… it must have been a huge experience and takes along time to digest. I know that some of my biggest races have been the most difficult to write about. We will just send gentle reminders to help you along…!

  7. Tom says:

    First of all, that is a pretty flower! that said, it may do you some good to just let the fingers pound away and what ever comes out comes out, we will understand,

  8. Meghan says:

    Gretchen- I wish you knew how many changes of heart I've had! Thanks for your thoughts and advices (I like the unsolicited kind, especially from wise laydees like you!)!

    JeffO- You are SO right about races being excuses to LIVE, big, bold, capitial letters included!

    Ewa- Thanks, and oh wow, aren't the wildflowers amazing!?

    Sea Legs Girl- I don't wish the sea leg wrath upon me at all! 🙂 The words are coming along!

    Sunshine girl- Yo. Thanks!

    Helen- Thanks for the nudge!

    Tom- The fingers are pounding today, thanks!

  9. Rick Gaston says:

    Go at your own pace, it's your run. Your friends will be here when you're ready. How I totally feel about my Miwok experience. A run on a much smaller scale but I echo some of your sentiments. I'll write my race report when I'm ready and not before.

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